When two people get married it is considered a sacred pledge that will be honored for life. It is believed that once the wedding vows are taken that you should be able to trust your mate for the rest of your life. In real life this is not always the way it goes in every marriage.
You are truly never able to know someone as much as you would like. To make things more complicated people change over time. That person you first dated then married will change as time goes by. You also will change as you grow older, you will have new perspectives on life with can influence your behavior.
One problem that crops up is growing bored with the same routine day after day. This alone has been the cause of many affairs. After growing tired of their boring routine, one spouse may want to try something different. This is where the affair happens.
Having an affair is unacceptable but it happens. Many marriages can and will end at this point but many couples still love each other and wish to save their marriage. The first step to healing after an affair would be to be able to understand what happened.
After the trust you had has been broken how can you ever earn it back? Your wedding vows swore the two of you to faithfulness and one of you strayed with another. Even though the marriage is damaged there are certain things you can do to heal it.
If you decide to move forward and save the marriage, do not just forgive and forget. Do not let the cheater just make excuses for what they did, they must be up front and honest about what happened. They made a big mistake and they need to own up to it.
If the cheater really wants to make the relationship work they will follow through with this. If they do not take it serious or make halfhearted attempts at apologies you will find you are going to have a difficult time.
If the cheater is truly sorry they will do what is necessary to make your relationship work. This includes cutting off all contact with the other person. If they continue to meet with the other person it would be obvious they are not serious. If this is your case it may be best to move on with your life.
Do not put yourself down or blame you for the affair. Your spouse made the decision on their own to do this, you did nothing wrong. If there was a problem in your relationship that bothered them they should have worked it out with you, not going off with another person.
Whichever way you go, either saving the marriage or walking away, do not lose your pride. This was not your fault so do not take it personally. If you try to make it work be understanding and work together to achieve your goal, this is something you cannot do on your own.