Friends are an indispensable part of our lives. We just cannot think our lives without our friends. It’s been rightly said that we get relatives by chance but friends by choice and that is the reason our friends are so dear to us. We all want friends to share our happiness, worries, doubts, sorrows etc, and our lives will become meaningless and hollow without good friends. We know the importance of good friends but sometimes it so happens that we cannot sustain our friendship or are unable to make good friends. There can be many reasons for this. We come across people in our lives that have number of friends on the contrary to people who simply do not have friends. We need to ponder upon this thought that why some people are blessed with many friends and on the other hand some people are not. The answer lies in the fact that people who have long lasting friendships are giving something extra to their relationships. We shall discuss ways and means of developing good friendships and also how to sustain it.
Whenever you need to make friends for or people to be friends with you, it is very important that you are fun and easy going. People who look approachable and simple attract more people towards them rather than those who look too complicated and stern. Have a happy and pleasing disposition, so that people feel comfortable and relaxed in your company.
The factor that can attract people towards you is the way you talk. It is very important that when you aim to make friends you indulge people in good conversations. Try and know their areas of interest and initiate conversation in the same direction. Once their interest is built up they would keep coming up with new topics for discussion. Try and avoid controversial topics, and if some situation like this crop ups, leave the discussion there and then and start something fun and interesting. Good conversations are a foundation of a great friendship. If somebody likes to talk to you, they would get in touch with you again to talk and that’s how you begin your journey of a good friendship.
Do not dominate
When we try and make friends it is important that we try and understand other person’s perspectives and views. It is often seen that in order to attract attention, we snub people and want to outshine them. This is a very wrong approach towards making friends and this attitude could be marked as arrogance. You have be coy and subtle, even you find that the person talking to you is incorrect, you have to put your views in a more dignified manner. When you respect people around you, they feel great in your company.
It is very normal that we try and be good to the people whom we meet for the first time and try and portray our good side. This is fine but you should not go overboard with it. It is good to be polite and nice but do not be so sugar coated that people find it hard to digest. Try and be yourself, if you are good and your intentions are clear that you want to make friends with people, you would certainly do, irrespective of your any special endeavours.
Do Things Together
Once you have started liking a person and want that this friendship should be sustained, and then you have to try your bit. Try and find out things that you both can do together. You can go for walks or a movie, or you can even join some classes together. This way you would be spending time together and you would get to know each other well. Doing things together is a great way of making the bond of friendship together.
Do not be a fair weather friend
It is very important that you are there your friend in thick and thin. It is not only your responsibility as a friend to know and find out about your friend’s problems but also provide help to solve them. The test of a true friendship is at the time of the need. At the time of need you can tell and express to your friend, how much you care and value their friendship.
Trust your friend
Trust is a very important aspect of any relationship. If there is no trust then the relationship is not strong and the same goes for friendship as well. You have to trust your friend. Trust can lay strong foundations of a friendship. To maintain a good and trustful relationships try and share your happiness, anxiety, worry, joys etc with your friend. This way you become more close to each other and thus good friends.
Appreciate your friend and friendship
We all need appreciation and accolades for our endeavours and in relationships too we want to feel loved and wanted.. If your friend has done something special for you, acknowledge it and reciprocate the feelings, it feels great when somebody realizes what you have done for them. Although friendship is unconditional but still you can also do special things for your friends to let them know how much they mean to you. Every person is endowed with certain qualities, try and figure out what special qualities your friend has, accentuate them and appreciate them, this way you are encouraging your friend and making your friendship stronger.
Do not have expectations
It is seen that expectations can spoil even the healthiest of friendships. Do not have unnecessary expectations from your friends. Do your bit and leave the rest. Do not expect your friend to act or behave in a certain manner because you have done or said something. Every individual is different and thinks differently. What might be correct or right for you, might not be so for your friend. So keep it simple and do not make the relationship more complicated.
A friend in need is a friend indeed – very aptly said, so be there for your friend in all ups and downs of life and sustain a good friendship.