No one wants to be lonely. Being lonely is different to being alone. Consider that last sentence carefully. It is so important that I am going to say it again. Being lonely is different to being alone. To be lonely is when you feel cut off or detached from other people. Being alone is to be physically alone.
Why does this happen
A strong factor that can contribute to feeling lonely is the practice of dwelling on the past. Where your mental focus goes, your energy follows. When your thoughts are continually turning over unresolved issues or past events then you miss out on the present moment. This misdirected focus drains your energy and leaves you feeling constantly tired. Does this sound like what it is like for you.
It is possible to be alone and not lonely. How is this done you may be asking. When you are at peace with yourself then there is no deficiency being experienced. Loneliness is a symptom of self-criticism.
Letting go and making peace
When you connect with friends and are distracted you are not alone and for a time are not lonely either. Letting go of the past and making peace with any unresolved issues is a choice that you can make for yourself. You do not have to wait for something to change, just embrace it immediately. Random thoughts may still jump into your mind. Acknowledge these thoughts and push them to the side. If you do not acknowledge them you will be giving the issues far more power than they are worth.
Old friends, new experience
This is where regular contact with friends is valuable. Although you may have been spending time with friends but still been lonely. With your new technique you have become aware that until now you have not been focused on what is happening while with your friends. This opens up a whole new friend’s experience. Same friends, new experience.
This wonderful experience comes when you pay attention to what people say and do rather than putting it all on autopilot. When was the last time you really listened to what your closest friend had to say about themselves and responded with an answer that was not about you?
No more loneliness
Loneliness can be avoided by being present in the moment. Keep your focus on what is happening right now. Live right now. You did not wake up and find yourself in the past. So do not let mind activity to distract you from enjoying all of your today’s. Take management of your thinking activity and never be lonely again.